My New Years resolutions for 2003



Seeing the other side - A statement of purpose

The things we think but do not say - Jerry Maguire's mission statement

Missionary, why Christianity is still western imperialism. Yet amidst the cultural destruction, there is message of hope.

30 years West, 30 years east. - Living on the other side of the ocean, to create balance.
An engineer trapped in a Missionary's body.

Reasons - My own thoughts on what I might want to do with my life.

What not to do. More ponderings on the missions movement.

Religious Imperialism - An article about Christianity

CCFC - The church I currently Attend



contact me at:
justin (@) deepdrift dot com


GyozaQuest is a non profitable site,


Think globally, act locally, yet still burned out

What my co-worker left, two bottles of beer, his great granduncle the rebel, and the potential of selling friesIn light of all this stuff about globalization, gentrification, and sprawl, and justice. The solution does boil down to the issue of community. Although things happen on a global scale, the effects are felt on a local level. I desparately want to feel part of a community of people who are striving to be better and greater than they could be as individuals.

I'm contemplating a move, most likely I won't take it, but
Perhaps Tucson is a place that attracts retirees. People downshifting their lives. The place for the burned out type A personalities, to fall to when the point comes when the void between expectations and reality becomes so great, that they no longer see a point in continuing onward. It reminds me of the father of my high school girlfriend, who was an OBGYN, and finally quit his job, moved what's left of his family (his younger kids went with him, his older kids stayed in California) to a small town in the mountains of Utah. He no longer practices medicine, and ended up doing light IT support for a small school system. Simply maintaining a few of the computers which they had and maintaining the PBX phone system which they had. The man was brilliant, but somehow was so tired of the stresses of his life, and the gap between his expectations and what he was actually doing. One could say he was doing more delivering babies, but also his expectations changed, what was important changed

Burnout is defined as the moment when you can no longer bridge the gap between expectations and reality, and you fall into the chasm. Burnout is the product of two things, miserable reality meaning that you're not seeing any thing positive from what's around you, and unrealistic expectations the idea that you.

Which describes why some people with lower expectations about what they'd want in life can still go on pleased with what people might percieve as a mediocre existance. Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up, yet people cope.

The other half is that people with high expectations, even if they've got lives that would be the envy of others, their expectations are so high that they are destined to burn out. It all echoes the cycles of maturity in the 20's.

I get the nagging feeling, this office isn't for the career driven, or those with high aspirations, nor those with metropolitan dreams. If you've tasted the world, can you ever go back to small town living. Once I've lived on the east coast, can I ever go back to simply being in California.

My boss, married for years, has kids who now live on their own. He invited me out to his house, it was out in the middle of nowhere, next to the observatory. It was quiet, and a similar house in the same development was selling for $250K. No granite countertops, stainless steel appliances, or travertine floors. Just a simple suburban house, in a new development. I could see the beginnings of the developers comprimise about "New Urbanism." The idea is that one would put the all the houses together and then leave open space as common area. I think the idea is common in rural germany, and probably other parts of Europe where people live close together in the town centers and then there is still open space, farmland, or preservation land outside of town. As opposed to the more common suburban style development (which I've seen in Malaysia, and to some degree got wind of such things happening in China as well. (Korea, and Japan, even the small industrial towns I was in, seem denser, despite the abundance of cars in Korea)

The idea of suburbs, which I have fought so hard against, now seems so much appealing

Globalization is a very troubling topic, there's word that not even politicans dare speak the term during elections, because it hints of American jobs being shipped overseas. The new term is "Increasing American Economic competitive opportnities"


Montagnards and Hmong, people groups who fought alongside the Americans troops in Vietnam. I think their ancestral lands probably extend in Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos. There's an article in the LA times about how they fall into the USA Patriot Act's version of terrorist organization. Even though the CIA may have supported them. Sigh...

What's the difference between a Freedom Fighter, a armed insurgnets group, unlawful combatant. Someone reminded me as well just look a the difference in results, between where the Americans stayed in to fight, and where they pulled out and left. South Korea is a thriving global power. Vietnam is just finally emerging from it's years of war. Of course North Korea is a troubling reminder of a mission not accomplished.

January 24, 2007

December 23, 2006