I sometimes think of my life here in Cambridge is, one friend put it: A desparate game of "Last man standing." After all, with the relentless change and the constant flux of transient folk in my life. I can't pick who stays or leaves. I don't pick my loyalties, they're a blessing from God. I can only say that after all these years looking at, who I have managed to keep in touch with, and who I have deep friendships.

There's value in the ability to reconcile our fundamentally opposing viewpoints and our varied cultural, social, and educational backgrounds and world and to value each other for our differences.

I find myself restless, always pursuing, always striving, finding less and less fulfillment. I don't seem to need simply another Bible study or another church service to find soul satisfaction. ... Disillusionment with one's church, then, is not a reason to leave but a reason to stay and see what God will create in one's life and in the local church. ... Thinking that I know my true needs is arrogant and narcissistic. Staying put as a life practice allows God's grace to work on the unsanded surfaces of my inner life.

Yeah, I'm sticking around, I'm still here. I've long ago given up the expectation that anything remains constant. Sure, I carry baggage from my past. I live with my issues, and deal with my demons. What else can I do?